Five Emotional Wounds That Can Condition Us








Five Emotional Wounds that Can Condition Us.

According to therapist Lise Bourbeau, there are five major emotional wounds that can condition us. These five wounds are rejection, abandonment, humiliation/shame, injustice, and betrayal.  I am adding my twist on things that are more reflective of my approach to coaching and healing. Here is a brief description of them:

Rejection: Your deep needs could be belonging and receiving love. One path to healing may be to confront your reality with self-acceptance, self-compassion; and by embracing your weaknesses. Your weaknesses don’t define you.  Let’s find out what your top character strengths are and spend time building on those.  Surround yourself with those who love and support you. Focus on those relationships the most. Remove whatever is not serving your highest self.

Abandonment: Your deep needs are attention and unconditional love.  Healing those wounds may look like practicing self-love, re-parenting and securing nurturing and safe relationships. Maybe, explore your attachment style and patterns. Awareness is key. Anyone who makes you feel otherwise….well, I think they should go. #ByeFelica

Humiliation/Shame: Your deep needs may be self-forgiveness, changing your inner dialog and improving self-esteem and self-worth. You are an extraordinary person with a unique story. I believe your story is your superpower.  Also, allow yourself to play and discover NEW things about yourself. You have permission to totally transform who you are and leave the shame behind. Work with your therapist or coach to find more purpose and or to discover what you are passionate about. Transform your shame into the fire that drives your passion to never go back to that place that left you feeling embarrassed or shameful. Most importantly (be gentle with yourself because this is a process and takes time).

Injustice: Your deep needs may be freedom, using your voice, trusting your intuition and being your authentic self. One path to healing the injustice wound is practicing self-compassion and taking action. I don’t have all the answers for this one (no-one does except you). But I know that there is nothing more freeing that joining forces with others and taking action to support a cause you are passionate about.  There are so many ways you can get involved to rise against injustice. Most importantly, speak up and trust yourself. If something is wrong or not just—you have the right to fight against it.

Betrayal: Your deepest needs may be to feel more self-confident, held and listened to.  One path to healing the betrayal wound is learning to letting go of the past and to find safe and secure relationships.  Share you story with those you trust, write it out and or journal. Write a letter to the person who betrayed you and then burn it.  Most importantly, respect who you are, and learn to listen to yourself and your body. Practice setting clear boundaries with others.  Those who have betrayed you may need to be cut out and left behind. Remember this--you are worthy or loyalty and respect.   

Know that most human being have experienced one of these wounds, at least once, in their life.

You are not alone. You are loved. I see you.